Until Wednesday last week, this old girl thought she was in fine form. OK, I may no longer be a spring chicken, but I did honestly think I was doing pretty good.

Oh, how wrong can one be? My body, Dear Reader, is failing fast. Or that was what I felt by the time I left the pre-med for this new job.*

It started off well with me flying through my drug test. At this stage of the proceedings, I had no hint that my world was about to crumble.

The first inkling was the jumping on the scales bit. The nurse then did some quick calculations and said ‘you are showing as obese’. She then looked at me and said ‘but you don’t look overweight, so I might have got that wrong, so I’ll recalculate it later.’   Right.

We then moved onto eyesight. Now, as way of explanation, I wear reading glasses and I had left them at home, so I knew at least some parts of this test weren’t going to go as well as they could. And I was right: I struggled with this section of the test. At one stage, the nurse said “see the red line” and I replied “what red line?” Not good. Not good at all!

And if that wasn’t bad enough, further tests showed I had compromised peripheral vision and was apparently colour blind.  I could see a white stick in my future.

Needless to say, a trip to the optometrist was recommended. A.S.A.P.

This obese and blind girl was next subjected to a hearing test. First I had my ears looked in, except nothing could be seen because of the build up of wax.  We then progressed to the hearing test, and, you guessed it, my left ear was not performing as it should.  I now had deaf to add to my list of health challenges.

It was probably a stroke of luck that my blood pressure and pulse had been taken prior to the drug test!

I am relieved to say that the other tests which included lung function and skeletal tests all went swimmingly well!

Now on Friday I went to the optometrist for a check up, and although I needed a new prescription for my reading glasses, everything else was tickety-boo. I cancelled the guide dog.

With regards to my hearing, I am sure getting my ears cleaned out will restore my hearing to normal.

Lastly, the weight thing – I now have a goal to drop 4 kilos! Until I do that, my string bikini will remain firmly packed away.

*My new job is Health and Safety Administrator  at a Quarry and Civil Construction company. I report to a contract Health and Safety Manager. Four years on the Health and safety committees at Auckland Museum and Auckland City Libraries has paid dividends and allowed me to change my career at what is quite a late stage in my life. Ironically, I got offered the same job at a Kumeu timber mill in 2003, but turned it down as the hours offered didn’t work with my uni studies!